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Audition: The Real Inspector Hound

Audition for Tom Stoppard's satirical murder mystery, Sunday 16th June.

Plot details:

Muldoon Manor House has been enveloped by a foreboding fog and with a madman on the loose and a body under the chaise waiting to be spotted, can the killer truly be discovered?

And is the mysterious stranger that just arrived the real Inspector Hound?

It is not the job of the audience to answer these questions or even in fact the play itself, that task lies with the esteemed professionals... Theatre critics of course!

The Real Inspector Hound is an absurdist one-act play by Tom Stoppard.

Audition details:

  • Date: Sunday 16th June 2024

  • Time: 2 pm

  • Location: St Anne’s Church Hall, 182 St Ann's Hill, London SW18 2RS (directions)

We will be auditioning for the following roles:

  • Moon – M/F, 30s-50s

    • A bitter second-string theatre critic, who is desperate to prove himself. The only reason Moon is here tonight is because he’s covering for first-string critic Higgs.

  • Birdboot – Male, 50s – 70s

    • A highly respected theatre critic. Probably got his professional reputation from having unprofessional relationships with some of the actors he has reviewed, in turn for making them a star.

  • Mrs Drudge – Female, 40s-70s

    • The housekeeper at Muldoon Manner. Only speaks in exposition. Moves very slowly. Needs a cockney accent.

  • Simon Gascoyne – Male, 20s-40s

    • Suave, dashing, love interest to all and committed to none. Simon happens to be dressed the same as the madman on the loose. Someone says they want to kill him every minute.

  • Felicity Cunningham – F/M, 20s-30s

    • A beautiful, young friend of Cynthia who has had an affair with Simon Gascoyne. Now a scorned lover who constantly threatens to kill him.

  • Cynthia Muldoon – F/M, 30s-40s

    • The widow of Lord Albert Muldoon, who disappeared 10 years ago. She claims to be very upset about her husband's disappearance but also flirts with all the men at Muldoon Manor and is having an affair with Simon. Incredibly sophisticated.

  • Major Magnus Muldoon – M/F, 40s-60s

    • Lord Albert Muldoon’s half-brother. He is deeply in love with Albert's widow Cynthia. He uses a wheelchair, we do not know why or if he needs it...

  • Inspector Hound – M/F 30s-70s

    • Here to investigate an alleged phone call. Very aloof and mysterious in an absurd way. He seems to have taken inspiration for his character from every famous detective possible. He seems to know exactly what is happening and also he has no idea what is happening.

Key Dates

  • Rehearsals: Tuesdays and Sundays starting 23rd July - 20th October ( After 27th August all Tuesdays will be Zoom line bashes so only Sundays will be in person.)

  • Tech: Saturday 26th Oct 10 am - 6 pm

  • Dress rehearsal: Sunday 27th Oct 2 - 8 pm


  • Wednesday 30th October, 5:30 pm - 10:30 pm

  • Thursday 31st October, 5:30 pm - 10:30 pm ( Special Halloween performance)

  • Friday 1st November, 5:30 pm - 10:30 pm

  • Saturday 2nd November, 5:30 pm - 10:30 pm

  • Derig: Sunday 3rd November 4 - 8 pm

Audition Pieces

  • For character specific audition pieces, please contact Rhonda.


If acting is not your thing but you would still like to be involved, we are also looking for crew members and people to help with set builds!

Set Build dates:

  • Saturday 15th June, 10:30 am - 6:30 pm

  • Saturday 22nd June, 10:30 am - 6:30 pm

  • Saturday 10th August, 10:30 am - 6:30 pm

If you like to build or paint or are just generally artistic and can make it to one or any of the dates, we'd love to hear from you. We need as many people as possible to make this set happen! It will be fun and there will be treats and probably the pub after!


We are looking for volunteers for the below positions, no experience is necessary;

  • Lighting engineer

  • Sound designer/engineer

  • Stage Manager

  • Costume designer/sourcer

  • Props

  • Front of House manager

If you are interested please contact Rhonda.


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